As much as you can think you'll be okay with a life change such as this (since in reality you knew it was coming) when it actually happens, nothing can actually prepare you for how drastic the change really is.
I really did know that this was going to happen. It was just a mater of when. I guess the knowledge didn't really faze me at all. Sometimes I wonder how was so very able to completely ignore the thought and deny so much.
And as much as really didn't want it to there wasn't much stopping the split. While not nearly as life, altering as some previously were there is still a profound feeling of loss. To say I didn't make some choices in the last two years without certain things in my would be lie. There was a very good chance that I would now be in DC or Detroit had things been different.
There are always many things to be missed, as anyone in a similar situation will attest. There are some things not to be missed as well (nobody is perfect right?). I don't know if its sound or a pseudo-sixth sense that tells you somebody exists nearby that, I miss. A feeling of presence even when they're not around, either though some trickery of the mind or some deeper emotional connection that seems to cut through distance, that is truly what I miss.
I guess the really ironic thing about it all is my whole life I’ve been able to be alone fairly easily. I love the solitude of being alone, especially out in the wilderness, even as rarely as I will venture there. But, it only really works if there is someone. It is as if the knowledge of someone is enough to not need their presence. I wonder if this is how some people end up with imaginary friends? Actually there is a funny quote describing this really well. My grandmother once said this to my Uncle, “For somebody that loves to be alone, you never are very long”.
Sometimes you have to wonder if upbringing really has anything to do with your personality at all.
I really did know that this was going to happen. It was just a mater of when. I guess the knowledge didn't really faze me at all. Sometimes I wonder how was so very able to completely ignore the thought and deny so much.
And as much as really didn't want it to there wasn't much stopping the split. While not nearly as life, altering as some previously were there is still a profound feeling of loss. To say I didn't make some choices in the last two years without certain things in my would be lie. There was a very good chance that I would now be in DC or Detroit had things been different.
There are always many things to be missed, as anyone in a similar situation will attest. There are some things not to be missed as well (nobody is perfect right?). I don't know if its sound or a pseudo-sixth sense that tells you somebody exists nearby that, I miss. A feeling of presence even when they're not around, either though some trickery of the mind or some deeper emotional connection that seems to cut through distance, that is truly what I miss.
I guess the really ironic thing about it all is my whole life I’ve been able to be alone fairly easily. I love the solitude of being alone, especially out in the wilderness, even as rarely as I will venture there. But, it only really works if there is someone. It is as if the knowledge of someone is enough to not need their presence. I wonder if this is how some people end up with imaginary friends? Actually there is a funny quote describing this really well. My grandmother once said this to my Uncle, “For somebody that loves to be alone, you never are very long”.
Sometimes you have to wonder if upbringing really has anything to do with your personality at all.
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